Leave Message after the Beep

...

"I wanted to, you know," she smiled weakly. "I wanted to wait for you. I wanted to because I knew I need to. I need to see where we will end up, where our path will finally meet a dead end. Will the dead end be a boring brick wall, will it be a small, tiny wooden gate covered with ivy and wild roses leading to another unpacked mystery. It's terrifying alright, but I wanted to. I wanted to wait and I wanted to do it for you. I wanted to do it with you."

She looked to the right. The fiberglass window showed her smile, which did not reach her eyes.

"And I know that if I want to wait, I have to have no expectation. Otherwise, it's not waiting. It's denying the truth while living the lie I want to be true. But then, you're not there. I mean, yeah, you're there some time before you go and make me questioning whether I should still wait. You go and make me wonder if I'm just making a fool of myself. It's tiring. It's tiring and I think...," her voice quivered a bit, "I think I'm done."

She hung up.

But she knew those words cannot even convince herself.

Constellation of the Clichés

You know how people say if something is too good to be true then maybe it is?

Falling for the sound of your smile and the twinkles in your eyes over and over again.

Dancing under the fairy lights in the middle of the night.

Holding hands at the top of the hill on windy night.

Embracing under the rain while waiting for the pedestrian green lights.

Stolen kisses during night walks along the harbor.

Passing by your lecture room on particular time just because I know your class will be dismissed.

Breakfast in bed after you spent the night crying.

Cuddles. Lots of cuddles, anywhere, anytime.


I know we are such a cliché. We are constellation of the clichés.

You would not mind if I add another one cliché, would you?

So I smile, put the rose near your headstone, and wish with all my might that you did realize how much I am in love with you.