The clock on the top of city hall tower chimed in
the distance: once, twice, thrice. Eleven times, the girl counted as she ran
through the drizzle. The moon shone brightly, its reflection shimmered from the
puddles on red brick pathway.
I won't make it on time, she realized. She
wiped a drop of water from her cheek, not sure whether it was the drizzle or
her own teardrop.
He'll be gone.
She knew things will not work out between them.
She knew right from the start. She has been trying to convince herself that
letting him go is the right thing to do. She never believes in love anyway. Not with the
bickering parents and her siblings turning into a bunch of wild kids.
She passed the dimly-lit park and halted for a
while. That park. The place he kissed her for the first time: not even a kiss
on the lips, it was more the brotherly kind of kiss on the top of her head. The
place where she realized that she has been too involved. The place where she
realized she should back off. But how
could she? Everything was so very perfect. Everything was dreamy. Every time
spent with him was a movie scene.
She began to ran, again. Maybe the faster she ran, the faster the memories of him would fade.
But I don’t
even know what I want to tell him, she began to think between sobs, I don’t know what I feel anymore.
Her watch peeked from the sleeve of her raincoat:
thirty minutes to midnight. Thirty minutes to the time he was going to step out
of her life for a year, maybe forever. Who knows what the future brings.
Maybe she will miss him.
Maybe she will not.
Maybe he will meet someone else and settle down.
Maybe he will wait for her.
She already realized that maybe deep down inside,
she never wanted to know the truth. About him, about them. She just wanted to
keep the idea of him, of them being together, stay alive in her mind. She did
not mind to continue her life in constant denial.
She also realized that he most probably feels the
same way about her. He liked the idea of her being the perfect partner: bubbly
and carefree and patient and kind. She was all those most of the times, but she
was merely human being. She had her ups and downs all the time.
But we can
work it out. Everything can work out if you try hard enough, she thought as
she reached an intersection. Right across, the bus he’s aboard was starting up
its engine. The pedestrian light was still red.
It was earlier than she expected. He must be
already on board. There will be no time to say anything. At all.
Unless…
The street was deserted, it was almost midnight.
She took a glance to both sides of the road.
It’s now or
never.
She took the chance and ran, there was a flashing
bright light and she felt a hard metal hit her side.
The sound of shattering glass and crushing metal
was piercing the night.
She fell to the road while the bus departed.
Maybe a closure was not necessary. Maybe they did not need to talk about
themselves. Maybe they should just leave things where they were.
Maybe
we are each other worst nightmare, trying to believe otherwise.
She heard sirens wailing right before everything
went dark.
