I’ve never met her. Nor she me.
But dear God, have I been obsessed with her.
I know she has several things I long for. Stability in life. Someone to depend to. Peaceful life, it seems.
I know she has rather similar qualities than me. Love for knowledge. For culture.
Things I know only from observation from afar. Things I know only from my assumptions. Things that may or may not be correct about.
Considering how "much" I feel like I know about her, I began to judge her. I began to check out her social media daily, if not every few hours.
I began to form my opinion about her, how ungrateful she is for her peaceful, stable, loving life. How her chirps about life seems to be attention and validation seeking, rather insensitive at times. How she seems so immature, but if so, how can she get things I can't get?
Don't worry, even I know how silly I sound.
The problem is I can't stop being curious about her. I want to know every little things, every little details of her life. The ones she shares wholeheartedly with the whole world, with little hesitancy.
The problem is, again, it begins to take toll on me. I begins to feel wicked, being jealous to someone who has done perfectly nothing to me. I begins to feel a bit arrogant too, considering how I feel that she has no better achievement than me.
But how does she get what I want, while I don't? What did I do wrong? What did she does that I didn't?
